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Life is not about the destination but about the journey

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

Life is a journey into the unknown


And sometimes it likes to sneak up and bite you on the ass.


July 29th, 2012

This weekend I do.  This weekend seems like it's been an exercise in futility.  Everyone has their heads up their asses.  I am so pissed I want to go on a destruction crusade.  That and purposely go out of my way to make their lives a living hell.  

Some people might think this is a PMS rant and in a few days I'll feel better, but let me tell you, this is not one of those times.  Usually I'm a very pleasant person.  It takes a lot of misdeeds, sour words and negative attitudes to get me this upset.  Which brings in the question, "What the hell is going on!"

Shit, crap, damn!!!!  When I'm pissed like this, I feel like crying.  I DO NOT LIKE CRYING!  

Control, or more like lack of control is the underlying issue.  I'm in several situations where I feel as if I have no control over what goes on in my life.  I'm trying to grin and bear it for the time being because ultimately I know that it will be temporary.  The long term goal should be my focus but unfortunately, the straw that broke the camel's back has been encountered and to deal with my anger issues I've run the family out of the house.  I am not ready to be around people right now.  I don't even think being around animals or plants would be a good idea either.  This is seriously hampering my personal life and may even get me fired this week.  

I have no idea how to deal with my anger except grin and bear it.  Talking to my family is not working.  Their "simple" solutions are all based on what they want me to do instead of what would benefit all.  I see my friends so infrequently that I don't want to ruin our moments by venting and bringing in the negative.  I can't afford a vacation or even get a few days off work.  I need relief/ resolutions.  

July 1st, 2012

(no subject)

I should do this more often.

I say this but it doesn't happen often enough.

Note to self:  Find a little self fulfillment before the end of the year.

August 29th, 2011

(no subject)

5 years, 2 months and 10 days, that's how long I've been at this job.  I'm starting to feel that familiar itch to explore other options.  I'm bored by the monotony and the BS.  What to do?  I want to go back to school and finish my degree but at the same time, I can't afford not to work.  Hoping to explore some options within the next few weeks.  Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well.

May 2nd, 2010

(no subject)

Dear Laundry,

This post is notify you of my intent to resign effective immediately.



April 13th, 2010

(no subject)

No motivation at all.....

There was a time that I had plenty to say.

Work is going very well.

It's allergy season again so health is slowly going down hill.  Trying to nip this in the bud before I get hospitalized again.

I eat when I'm content and starve myself when I'm stressed or unhappy about something in my life.  On that note, I've gained another 10 lbs over the past month.  So I suppose you could say that I'm content with my life but not quite happy about what I see in the mirror every morning. 

Saw episodes of Flash Forward last week on Hulu and now I am reading the book that the show is based on.  Written by Robert J. Sawyer, on page 13 so I can't really give a review yet. 

My 10 year old daughter is going through puberty.  I would say too bad for Kyle but then again he usually picks on her till she starts yelling.  The he has the balls to tattle on her.  *sigh*  This would be so much easier to deal with as a parent if it was legal to duct tape them together till they figured out how to cooperate with each other. 

My 12 year old son is going through puberty.  One minute he's happy as a lark and the next he's pissed off at the world.  Then there are periods of time in between where his entire world has fallen apart and he shuts himself into his room and crys.  *ugh* 

Why can't they take turns with hormone fluctuations?!?!  On a better note, at least they'll get this out of their system in a few years and we all can move on with our lives. 

It has been 1 month since his last drink.  So far so good.  I'm not holding my breath and I'm basically waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I don't know if he can keep this up.  Or more like I don't know if he cares enough to change.  He says he does.  We get by one day at a time and so far that's been working for us. 

April 6th, 2010

Kayla:  You look like you're pregnant.
Me:  Huh!?!?  What!!!
Kayla:  Well it's better than being fat.
Kyle:  If you're pregnant can it be a girl?

April 2nd, 2010

(no subject)


Sometimes a good cry just makes everything better.

The PMS that I should have experienced a few days ago are now showing up.  Everything seems to be twice a bad as it normally would be. 

I can't reitterate enough how much ex-husbands suck ass.

March 22nd, 2010

(no subject)

I crave sweets.  I'm trying so hard not to gorge myself on candy and pastries but it's so hard. 

Theme for the month:  "Say no to the sweets."

March 18th, 2010

(no subject)


Diplomacy is the art of knowing what not to say. Matthew Trump, in Mother Earth News

March 14th, 2010

Spring cleaning?

Cleaning out my cupboards means I now have a buttload of stuff to get rid of.  Speaking about cleaning, I should do something about the basement too.

February 21st, 2010

Found at the Gibralter Trade Center

(no subject)

It's been so long.  I need to teach myself how to upload, update and etc. 

So many beautiful babies, fun times, adorable kids, delicious desserts, sad times, and life changing events that I've missed. 

How accurate is this?

I was not born with this name but it's the only one I know.  So how accurate is this?  Pretty damn close. 

You entered: Michelle Myung Hwa Edmunds

There are 23 letters in your name.
Those 23 letters total to 106
There are 7 vowels and 16 consonants in your name.
What your first name means:

HebrewFemaleClose to God. Feminine form of Michael: Who is like God? Gift from God.
FrenchFemaleFeminine of Michael: gift from God.

Your number is: 7

The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.

The expression or destiny for #7:
Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

Your Soul Urge number is: 4

A Soul Urge number of 4 means:
With the Soul Urge or Motivation number of 4 you are likely to strive for a stable life. You tend to follow a rather orderly pattern and systematic approach in your endeavors. You have an inner desire to serve others in a methodical and diligent manner. You want to be in solid, conventional, and well-regulated activities, and you are somewhat disturbed by innovation and erratic or sudden changes. Excellent at organizing, systematizing, and managing, you have a way of establishing order and maintaining it. You are responsible, reliable and in the final analysis, practical. Highly analytical, you can see your way through all sorts of situations and generally have a clear understanding of the issues. You are a very honest, sincere, and conscientious individual.

The negative side of the 4 is rigid, stubborn and somewhat narrow-minded. There is a tendency to hide feelings, or to really not be aware of real feelings. Avoid being too rigid and stubborn in your thinking, and try to always see the big picture rather than becoming to involved with the detail. Don't be afraid to take a chance once in awhile.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3

An Inner Dream number of 3 means:
You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

January 26th, 2010


It's been 7 months since I've last posted.  I have so much to talk about.  Alot of changes most good and some bad.  Too much to say at this time so I'll just give you a run down.  

1.  Got a new boyfriend.  
2.  Moved to a bigger house.  Painted and redecorated this said house.  
3.  Got a new job (better pay of course).  
4.  Ex-husband is moving back to the state.  Not looking forward to that one.  Although it might be easier to sue him for child support now.  
5.  Health still an issue but gotta say it's been much better than last year 
6.  Broke my camera so no pics for the past few months
7.  Kids are going through puberty both at the same time (talk about a nightmare)
8.  Car drew it's last breath right after I sank about $1500 into it to get it fixed

And best of all I got my internet back!!!!!!!

June 1st, 2009

A very short update


Yes I know it's been 13 weeks since I've last logged on.  Still don't have internet at home and probably won't get it for at least a few years.  Or until I win the lottery.

Dating sucks

And Happy Birthday to everyone on my friends list.  I include everyone because I don't know when I might be back.

P.S  Thank you again missdotti  for my wonderfully hilarious userpic

March 2nd, 2009

Oh good god people!!!!

1884 messages to go

After spending the last 15 minutes trying to catch up on my mail, I've decided to just delete everything and focus on something more important like going to the bathroom.  So I'm deleting 124 pages of past posts.  If by any chance there is a post that you would like me to read please let me know all the pertinant details so it will be easier for me to look it up in your journal.  Other than that hugs and kisses to all and may this be the last month that I'm without internet. 

January 21st, 2009

Wow it's been 3 months since I've last posted.  I haven't had a chance to read anything since then so I now have over 2000 journal entries to catch up on.  Hmmmm, I wonder how many of those journal entries has a picture of my butt in them?

Just a quick run down of my life so far.  In the process of moving so lots of confusion and stress there.  Health still sucks and yes it's all from allergies.  I think my apartment is trying to kill me.  Work is still work.  Thinking I need to get a second job.  Which reminds me, I am going to be a consultant for Pure Romance so if anyone wants to host a party give me a call.

Note to self:  Screw the fracking lists!!  I can't seem to keep anything straight these days so what you read is what you get.  Sticking to a strict list is messing with my ability to think logically.

And also I've been doing alot of drooling over my children's principal.  Yeah, I know he's married but I can still admire from afar right?

October 4th, 2008


How sad is it that I've forgotten my user name?  It only took me a good 10 seconds to remember it.  Anyways, hope all of you are doing well.  I'm still working on getting my internet back.  In the meantime heres a list of things to update.

1.  Work
2.  Dating
3.  Posting Pics
4.  Sharing recipes
5.  Possible sushi party before the holidays

September 5th, 2008

(no subject)

Ummm shit
I so suck and because of this suckiness I will not be able to access internet for awhile.  Perhaps for a long while.  In the meantime, you'all take care and I'll pop in every once in a while.

Hugs and kisses to all

August 22nd, 2008

LOL :)

deemystifiedhas triple dog dared her f-list to do this and I've never turned down a dare yet.

10 things that I love about myself

1.  I can take plain ol' sugar, flour, and eggs and turn it into a fantabulous dessert
2.  I have acquired many talents over the years just by reading books.
3.  I am smarter than most people think
4.  I have a great ass, one that will just get better with time ;D
5.  I'm a great photographer
6.  I am compassionate
7.  I'm also a hardass.  It's a fine balancing act.
8.  I am a good mother.
9.  I am a good combination of quiet reserve and loud obnoxious party girl.
10.  I am a jokester, full of dry wit, humor, and sarcasm.

So now I bring this challenge to all my readers.  List 10 things you love about yourself.  Go ahead, flaunt yourself, do a little bragging. 

August 21st, 2008

What happened to you today?
 I went to the doctor's and found out it's not allergies and it's not bronchitis.  I may have adult onset asthma OR my reflux is finally getting to that point where surgery would be best.  Either way I'm on medication to start making me feel better.  I personally think that it's my reflux.  It's been 13 years since I've been diagnosed with it and another 6 years since I've seen a specialist for it.  As a matter of fact, all the symptoms I've had over the past 2 years could be related to my reflux. 
Why did you choose your user name? Is there any special meaning or story behind it?
 Hahahaha, long story short?  I made a comment at work to a consumer who was carrying around a stuffed monkey yelling at it because it peed in her hand.  She was yelling, "Bad monkey!" to it and in the spirit of joking around I blurted out, "Do I have to spank your monkey?!"  Needless to say all the staff got a kick out of that and the fact that I didn't realize what I had said till everyone was rolling on the floor.

Anyways, my username stems from that incident and the fact that one of my coworkers and best friend made me that cool icon you see at the top.  amour_de_singe is french for monkey love.
If you could pick any TV show that has been off the air to come back for one more season, which show would you pick and why?
I have a whole slew of shows I'd like to see make a come back.  Not just for one season either.  Can I make a list?  Oh what the hell, it's my journal post right?  

1.  Muppets- I want my kids to see quality childrens entertainment and not just the cartoon shows of large headed brightly colored cutesy girls who always go around kicking this monkeys ass.

2.  Fraggle rock- Another good show.  I grew up watching this.  I think I know where I can purchase it too :D

3.  Jeremiah- A really kick ass series about how children are left to fend for themselves after the big D that took all their parents away.  All I know is that alot of legal issues are going on with this show and that is why only 3 seasons have been made and only one season has made it to DVD.  

4.  Jericho- So much potential here.  Why cut it 7 shows in because it had a HUGE fan base.

5.  Firefly- Have you seen this show?!?!  It had humor, adventure, mystery, romance, special effects.  Need I say more?

6.  The pretender- Just because my parents said I couldn't watch and I did anyways.  

7.  La Femme Nikita-  Finally a show where a really hot blond goes around kicking ass.  Power to the woman.

March 15th, 2007

This week's photo is...

Have fun with this you guys.  I can't wait to see what everyone has done.

December 31st, 2006

What Color Is Your Aura?

We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Sapphire vibe. People with blue auras feel everything strongly — you tend to get a little emotional at the drop of a hat. You're also deeply spiritual and introspective. Matters of the heart, mind, and soul are important to you, and your waters run as deep as the ocean. Nurturing by nature, you're likely a loving, supportive caretaker. That's why friends, family, and co-workers adore you. They know you're a good listener and always have great advice and a shoulder for them to cry on. In fact, if we had to find a fault, it's that you can be a tad too self-sacrificing. Remember that it's okay to say no sometimes. You forgive everyone else their weaknesses, so go ahead and forgive yourself for a little well-deserved selfishness. Indulge your creative side and do something artsy, or just take a break from being the world's counselor. You'll come back refreshed and ready for more.

The Perfect Job in Hell

Another one because..........

You scored 45% intelligence, 28% evilness, and 52% ambition!
The messenger's job is pretty drab, but fortunately they're extraordinarily ambitious. They can turn any menial delivery task into an adventure, and nothing can get in their way of finishing (except when they deliver bad news to someone).

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on intelligence
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on evilness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on ambition
If you liked my test, send it to your friends!
The Perfect Job For Me In Hell Test

December 24th, 2006

IQ test

Found this on tickle.com was a bit unnerving to go through the test.  I guessed on most of the answers but I guess I did alright.  I'm impressed with my intelligence.

The Classic IQ Test
What's Your IQ?

Congratulations, Michelle!
Your IQ score is 120

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.


November 23rd, 2006

Last minute shopping

Note to self: Never go shopping the day before a major holiday!!!
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